Microsoft Unveils New Music Player: Zonk

Microsoft Unveils New Music Player: Zonk header image

New Hardware Is Here

Today, April 1st, 2024, Microsoft unveils a new upcoming hardware. The software and AI company states that it is a sequel to the beloved and enigmatic Zune from 2006. To recount, the Zune ZH1-30 released on November 16th, 2006 to large fanfare. After that, three more models were released until the line was pulled in 2011. Since then, fans have been clamoring for more hardware from Microsoft. That is why, their spokesperson stated, that they are continuing down the mobile hardware route. Below is a mock-up of the device.

Image of a ZONK
ZONK mock-up

The device will come pre-loaded with the hit single "Barbie Girl" and several Japanese McDonald's theme songs. Here's the inside scoop on the specs:

  • 1GB ZIP Drive

  • Tri-Directional Tri-Pad

  • USB-D Port

  • Front-lit OLED panel

  • 400mAh Nickel battery

  • RJ-45 port for networking

  • On button (doesn't turn off)

These mighty specs are expected to catch customers eyes and drive sales into the millions in the first week. Careful consideration of this has reportedly been taken and the stock at brick and mortar stores is said to be in the dozens of millions. That means it should be easy to find one. However, it will only be available in 14 states and one city in India. Because of this, online sales are expected to plummet as millions of people travel to stores to see it in person.

One Last Thing

In addition to this news, Microsoft has said that they will begin transitioning into a purely hardware driven company. They plan on utilizing a new name: Macrohard. This comes as a surprise to us at the writer's office as we've studied the company for three decades and could not have seen such a bold move coming. Below is the new logo that they plan to use.

Image of logo
The new Macrohard logo

What do you guys think of this news? Let us know on twitter! We're anxious to hear what you think.

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